Carol Kent: Between a Rock and a Grace Place

From bestselling author Carol Kent comes a riveting journey of facing the impassible obstacles of life and discovering the last thing ever expected—the sweet spot of grace.

Carol Kent and her husband, Gene, are now living what some would call a heartbreaking life—their son, Jason, a young man who initially had so much promise, is now living out a life sentence for murder in a maximum security prison. All their appeals have been exhausted at both the state and federal levels—humanly speaking, they have run out of options. But despite their hopeless situation, Carol and her husband live a life full of grace. Kent reveals how life’s problems become fruitful affliction where we discover the very best divine surprises, including peace, compassion, freedom, and adventure. Through the Kent’s remarkable ongoing journey, Jason’s riveting letters from behind bars, and true “grace place” stories from the lives of others, Between a Rock and a Grace Place reveals that when seemingly insurmountable challenges crash into our lives, we can be transformed as we discover God at work in ways we never imagined. With vulnerable openness, irrepressible hope, restored joy, and a sense of humor, Carol Kent helps readers to find God’s “grace places” in the middle of their worst moments.

About the Author

Carol Kent is the bestselling author of When I Lay My Isaac Down and A New Kind of Normal. Carol is an expert on public speaking, writing, and on encouraging people to hold on to hope when life’s circumstances turn out differently from their dreams. She lives in Florida with her husband Gene.

Carol Kent is a popular international public speaker best known for being dynamic, humorous, encouraging, and biblical. She is a former radio show co-host and has often been a guest on Focus on the Family and a featured speaker at Time Out for Women and Heritage Keepers arena events. She has spoken at The Praise Gathering for Believers and at Vision New England’s Congress. She is also a frequent speaker at Women of Virtue events across the country.

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Q & A with Carol Kent: Between a Rock and a Grace Place

Questions/Answers from Carol Kent

Tell us about the Christmas gift you received. How did it help you to find grace in the middle of a seemingly hopeless situation?

Two weeks before Christmas our doorbell rang at 9:15 p.m. It was dark outside and by the time my husband, Gene, joined me at the front door, we were surprised to find no one there. It was already dark, but my eyes fell on a large, exquisitely wrapped gift. The card on top said, “Mom.” Initially, it felt like a bad joke. Nine years earlier our son, a graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy had been arrested for murdering his wife’s first husband and he was in prison serving a life-without-the-possibility-of-parole sentence.

However, I am a “Mom” and the package was left on my doorstep, so I opened it. The note appeared to be in my son’s unique handwriting. The note expressed his deep love for me and his gratefulness for what I had done to help him since his arrest. He said a “friend” had helped him deliver the surprise. Opening the box, I discovered a gorgeous russet-colored silk jacket—and it fit me perfectly.

That night I discovered something new about God and something I had forgotten about myself. He loves to interject divine surprises into our lives. His timing is always perfect, but it had been a while since I had been surprised by joy, wonder, and grace in the middle of one of the tight spots of life.

What are “grace places,” and how can hurting people in need find them?

All of us experience tight spots when life turns out differently from our dream. When we face the overwhelming obstacles of life, we can experience the last thing we ever expect—the sweet spot of grace. Grace places have a variety of forms, but some include:

  • Receiving love when we don’t deserve it
  • Finding safety in the middle of a fearful and uncertain experience
  • Being comforted by friends and family (people who are extensions of God’s love)
  • Experiencing the embrace of God when we have run out of strength and courage

“Grace means the free, unmerited, unexpected love of God, and all the benefits, delights, and comforts which flow from it.” (R.P.C. Hanson)

How important are contentment and gratitude in finding grace and peace?

My son, Jason, is teaching me that I need to choose contentment and thanksgiving in all things. As an inmate in a maximum-security prison, all of his personal items must fit in one small one-foot-high and one-and a half-feet-deep and two-and-a half feet long steel lockbox. He has learned to live comfortably with very little, which brings him a surprising sense of peace.

When I was visiting him one weekend I asked how he holds on to hope in the middle of a life-without-the-possibility-of-parole sentence. He said, “Mom, I have a gratitude list. Whenever the clouds of depression try to discouragement, I get out a piece of paper and write down everything I have to be thankful for. I’m thankful I have two parents who will be my advocates for as long as they live. The average number of years a lifer gets visits is five years and then no one comes anymore. I’m also thankful I can be a missionary on a compound that houses up to 1,700 men.” I’m learning from Jason that I find contentment when I choose to be thankful and when I invest my time in helping other people.

What are some unexpected gestures of kindness you’ve received in the past, and how did they help you through difficult times?

A couple of years ago Jason’s appendix ruptured and he was rushed from the prison to a civilian hospital. Gene and I were not allowed to know where he was and I prayed for someone to care for him as a mother would. He had two armed guards in his room at all times. Nurse Betty was assigned to Jason’s care. She treated him with respect and extraordinary care—and I knew she was a direct answer to my prayers.

A group of people who called themselves our “Stretcher Bearers” received an e-mailed monthly update on how to help with our needs. We were blessed with meals, cards, and financial gifts, often just before we needed extra funds for the next legal payment. These amazing people waited with us for two and a half years through seven postponements of the trial.

How has your definition of adventure changed over the years, and why is it important to retain adventure in your life, despite your situation?

True adventure is seeing the potential of living for things that matter in the middle of your current circumstances. We had the adventure of launching a nonprofit organization that helps to empower our son to facilitate classes by having books and DVD teaching series sent to the prison. We also have the adventure of reaching out to other people who are in crisis, which brings purpose and deep meaning to our lives.

There is a theme of surprise throughout the book. What is one of the greatest surprises you’ve had?

The powerful story of Tammy Wilson and Matthew Ben Rodriguez is in this book. Tammy contacted me after I spoke at an event she attended because my son is incarcerated in the same prison where Matt, the man who killed her mother thirteen years ago is incarcerated. She had been praying for someone to lead Matt to Christ and asked if Jason would try to meet him. It turned out that Jason and Matt were already friends and this amazing story is one of forgiveness, redemption, and restoration that can only be explained in the supernatural dimension.

Between a Rock and a Grace Place releases 10 years after your son, Jason, was sentenced to life in a maximum security prison and includes excerpts from Jason’s letters. Can you tell us how he’s doing now?

He has just taken his 8th group of men through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University Course and he will be facilitating a biblical counseling class on marriage and family this fall. He has a prayer group of twelve inmates who fast and pray for the needs of each other and their families. Prison is a depressing, dark, and sad place, but Jason is living for things that will outlast him.

When you received news about Jason’s clemency hearing being denied, how did you respond?

I wailed like a baby, sobbed, felt angry, hurt, and disappointed in God. Then we saw Jason a day after this devastating news. He was calm and very much at peace. He hugged me as I wept and said, “Mom, this case isn’t about having the best attorney or about having the favor of Florida’s top executive political leaders. If I am ever allowed to walk in freedom in this lifetime, it will be because God miraculously opened a door that was closed.” My son helps me to develop an eternal perspective and that day he comforted me.

What advice do you have for those who are stuck between a rock and a grace place?

In the middle of your own hurt reach out to someone else who needs help worse than you do. When you involve yourself in meeting the needs of others, you discover an unexpected freedom on the inside. Corrie ten Boom once said, “What did you do today that only a Christian would have done?”

As a result of your journey, you and your husband have founded the nonprofit organization Speak Up for Hope. What are the goals of the organization, and how can people get involved?

Our vision: To help inmates and their families adjust to their new normal.

Our mission: We exist to provide hope to inmates and their families through encouragement and resources.

Please go to http://www.speakupforhope.org for a list of practical ways individuals, churches, and organizations can help with specific projects. Our goal is to live out the truth of Prov. 31:8-9: “Speak up for the people who have no voice, for the rights of all the down-and-outers. Speak out for justice. Stand up for the poor and destitute!”

Where may we connect with you further or to purchase a copy of Between a Rock and a Grace Place?

I would love for you to visit my web site at www.CarolKent.org, browse through the various events and other resources available. You may also join me on my Facebook page, please click here.

If you would like to register for a free book giveaway, please do so at http://www.facebook.com/CSSVBT.CarolKent.BetweenaRockandaGracePlace and http://christianspeakerservices1.wordpress.com/blog/

Francine Rivers: Her Daughters Dream

Her Daughter’s Dream by Francine Rivers (Tyndale House Publishers, September 2010)


In the dramatic conclusion to the New York Times best seller Her Mother’s Hope, Francine Rivers delivers a rich and deeply moving story about the silent sorrows that can tear a family apart and the grace and forgiveness that can heal even the deepest wounds.

Growing up isn’t easy for little Carolyn Arundel. With her mother, Hildemara, quarantined to her room with tuberculosis, Carolyn forms a special bond with her oma Marta, who moves in to care for the household. But as tensions between Hildie and Marta escalate, Carolyn believes she is to blame. When Hildie returns to work and Marta leaves, Carolyn and her brother grow up as latchkey kids in a world gripped by the fear of the Cold War.

College offers Carolyn the chance to find herself, but a family tragedy shatters her newfound independence. Rather than return home, she cuts all ties and disappears into the heady counterculture of San Francisco. When she reemerges two years later, more lost than ever, she reluctantly turns to her family to help rebuild a life for her and her own daughter, May Flower Dawn.

Just like Carolyn, May Flower Dawn develops a closer bond with her grandmother, Hildie, than with her mother, causing yet another rift between generations. But as Dawn struggles to avoid the mistakes of those who went before her, she vows that somehow she will be a bridge between the women in her family rather than the wall that separates them forever.

Spanning from the 1950s to present day, Her Daughter’s Dream is the emotional final chapter of an unforgettable family saga about the sacrifices every mother makes for her daughter—and the very nature of unconditional love.

About the Author

Francine Rivers began her literary career at the University of Nevada, Reno, where she graduated with a bachelor of arts degree in English and journalism. From 1976 to 1985, she had a successful writing career in the general market, and her books were highly acclaimed by readers and reviewers. Although raised in a religious home, Francine did not truly encounter Christ until later in life, when she was already a wife, a mother of three, and an established romance novelist.

Shortly after becoming a born-again Christian in 1986, Francine wrote Redeeming Love as her statement of faith. First published by Bantam Books and then re-released by Multnomah Publishers in the mid-1990s, this retelling of the biblical story of Gomer and Hosea, set during the time of the California Gold Rush, is now considered by many to be a classic work of Christian fiction. Redeeming Love continues to be one of the Christian Booksellers Association’s top-selling titles, and it has held a spot on the Christian best-seller list for nearly a decade.

Since Redeeming Love, Francine has published numerous novels with Christian themes—all best sellers—and she has continued to win both industry acclaim and reader loyalty around the globe. Her Christian novels have been awarded or nominated for numerous honors, including the RITA Award, the Christy Award, the ECPA Gold Medallion, and the Holt Medallion in Honor of Outstanding Literary Talent. In 1997, after winning her third RITA Award for inspirational fiction, Francine was inducted into the Romance Writers of America’s Hall of Fame. Francine’s novels have been translated into over 20 different languages, and she enjoys best-seller status in many foreign countries, including Germany, the Netherlands, and South Africa.

Francine and her husband, Rick, live in northern California and enjoy time spent with their three grown children and taking every opportunity to spoil their grandchildren. Francine uses her writing to draw closer to the Lord, and she desires that through her work she might worship and praise Jesus for all He has done and is doing in her life.

Q & A with Francine Rivers: Her Daughter’s Dream

How has exploring the relationship between your mother and grandmother helped you understand yourself?

This is a question I would love readers to ask themselves at the end of Her Mother’s Hope. I realized early in the story that I have many of my grandmother and mother’s character traits, both good and bad. They both had tempers. So do I. They both had low self-esteem. I’m always striving to “measure up”. They both chose spouses who respected them. So did I. Both women had strong faith and servants’ hearts, something they encouraged in me. My mother extended grace to others — a trait I want to cultivate to the end of my days. By holding onto her anger, Grandma lacked the peace and joy she could have had in her last years. I tend to relive past hurts. Writing about Marta made me decide to let go, forgive and move on. For whatever reason, Grandma couldn’t and missed out on so much joy in her last years. Sometimes people deeply hurt as children take offense where none was intended. Holding a grudge causes suffering, especially for the one who won’t let go. Jesus said to forgive one another as He has forgiven us. Forgiveness frees us, even if the other person refuses to join in the process of reconciliation. As I examine my own life, I see how much I’ve been forgiven. How can I not extend God’s grace to others? The best way to experience the fullness of God’s presence in my life is to surrender it to Him. And in that surrender, we are made more complete and joy-filled.

Mother-daughter relationships are often complicated and fraught with emotional land mines. What was your approach to exploring the complexity of those relationships in a fictional setting?

Questions, lots of questions! Every time I told someone I was working on a book about mother-daughter relationships, people wanted to share their family stories. As I wrote Her Mother’s Hope, I wanted readers to see through each woman’s eyes, and understand how the past shaped each in the way she responded to her mother. Hildemara doesn’t believe her mother loves her, but it is out of Marta’s pain and loss that tough-love techniques were forged. Marta wants to strengthen her daughter for whatever lies ahead. Sometimes what we view as rejection can actually be an act of sacrificial love. We seldom know the experiences that shaped our mothers, the deep hurts, traumatic events, broken relationships. I hope women who read this book will want to share those things with one another.

Writing a novel is not for the faint of heart. What was the most difficult part of writing this family saga? What came the most naturally to you?

The most difficult part of writing any novel is getting out of my own way. I have to get rid of preconceived notions about themes and characters and plot. The first draft of this novel came in at over 1000 pages and was too biographical. I wanted the story to shift back and forth from present to past, trying to show what happened to create the rifts and valleys between Hildemara, Carolyn and May Flower Dawn. I was too cautious, too afraid to harm to my grandmother and mother’s memory.

A wonderful editor wrote me an insightful letter in which she listed what she wanted to know about each the characters. Her letter got my creative juices flowing. She helped me look at the story in a new way. I set the first manuscript aside and started over. I found it better to move from one generation to the next in a linear story. This time the characters followed my grandmother and mother’s timeline, but took on a life of their own. They became unique individuals rather than the shadow of real people.

After readers finish this series what do you want them to remember? What questions and feelings do you want it to provoke on a spiritual and emotional level?

I hope and pray readers who have had difficult relationships with their mothers or daughters will let go of the pain and anger and allow God to work in their lives. God can work all things together for good for those who trust and love Him. Following Jesus’ example changes the way we see people. It changes the way we relate to one another. Even when the chasm is too deep to cross, we can decide to forgive. Some people wear grievances like a dirty coat. With God’s strength, we can strip it off and be free. When people finish reading Her Daughter’s Dream, I hope they will want to extend God’s grace and forgiveness. I hope they will tear down their walls and use their life experiences to begin building a bridge.

Who do you see as the audience for this story, and does that differ from your previous readership?

I am fortunate to work with Tyndale House. If a writer does well in one genre, publishers encourage the writer to continue in the same genre. Tyndale has given me the freedom to go wherever the story leads. I have done historical as well as contemporary. This two-part saga was intended to be one LONG book. Splitting the story into two parts made it more affordable for readers, and eliminated the need to delete entire sections. Hopefully, both women and men will enjoy Her Mother’s Hope and Her Daughter’s Dream. Men play a strong role in the lives of all four primary characters: Marta, Hildemara Rose, Carolyn and May Flower Dawn. And both books have much to do with faith, how it presents itself, how it grows, often under difficult circumstances and in unexpected ways.

Where may we connect with you further or to purchase a copy of HER DAUGHTER’S DREAM?

I would love for you to visit my web site at www.FrancinceRivers.com, browse through the various events and other resources available, as well as sign up for my mailing list. You may also join me on my Facebook page, please click here.

If you would like to enter a drawing for a free copy of this book, you may do so at:

http://www.facebook.com/CSSVBT.FrancineRivers.HerDaughtersDream and http://christianspeakerservices1.wordpress.com/blog/

A complimentary copy of this book was provided to me as a blog tour host by Tyndale House Publishers in exchange for posting this interview on my blog. Please visit Christian Speaker Services at www.ChristianSpeakerServices.com for more information about blog tour management services.

Who do you think you are?

Over the past few days, I have been humbled and convicted by Job, not just his life but the whole book in the Bible.

Job, the book and the person, has always been an enigma of sorts to me.  I have many issues with the book and him.  To begin, the fact that God would carry on a conversation with Satan about one of His children is mind boggling.  It seems like a “Thanks but no thanks” situation.  I would not want him to bring my name up to Satan.  It seems a little caviler for a Father to act in such a way.  Why would He act that way?

Then there is the rant or temper tantrum, you pick, that Job goes through for quite a few chapters.  (Do not even get me started on the so called friends…another blog, another time.) His rant starts out well, I guess.  He has every right to be disgruntled and irritated.  I have felt the same way myself at what seems to be unjust circumstances, circumstances that do not seem warranted.  But then something changes, pride and arrogance began to come through his statements.  He begins to claim that God would not be able to find fault with him and that God NEEDS to answer Him.  When we choose (yes, it is a choice) to buy into a “victim” mentality, pride and arrogance are not far behind.  We go from being hurt and confused to a place of entitlement.  We deserve better and we did not get it.  Someone must answer for that.

Then there is God’s response, which is scathing and eye opening to say the least.  He very clearly tells Job how inaccurate his perception is not only of his situation but His view of God.  When God gets done, Job has no words.  None of us deserve anything that we get, good or bad.  It is all given to us by God.  We do not deserve the blessings and abundance that He pours on us.  Yet many Christians feel a sense of entitlement to those blessing and abundance.  When they do not come through, look out, the tantrum begins.  If God has done nothing else for us but forgive our sins, it should be enough.  Blessings and abundance are overflow, extras.  We need to be always conscious of the pride and arrogance behind entitlement.  We do not serve God for His blessing.  We serve God because we love Him and we want to partner with Him in His Kingdom.

Then comes the greatest twist of all in Job, God puts Job in his place but then restores everything with interest!  Why?  That is one of facets of God that we cannot grasp, His redeeming nature.  He redeems everything that is bad and turns into good, even when we do not deserve it.  At this point, I think Job was in awe.  He did not deserve restoration and redemption after his tantrum but he was given them anyways.

Oh, that I would keep my eyes on God’s faithfulness and character.  That I would be ever aware and conscious of the subtle choices of entitlement that lead to pride and arrogance.  That my heard could be silenced by coming face-to-face with God as He truly is not as I have envisioned Him to be.  That I would rejoice in the overflow and not demand the blessing.

Dwell Apart-Excerpt from God Calling

“Rest more with Me.  If I, the Son of God, needed those times of quiet communion with My Father, away, alone, from noise, from activity-then surely you need them too.

Refilling with the Spirit is a need.  That dwelling apart, that shutting yourself away in the very secret place of your being-away alone with Me.

From these times you come forth in Power to bless and heal.”

Why do I not get this more?  Why do I fail to realize time and again that in pulling apart to be with God is where my strength and power come from?  In our society, we are driven like no other generation has been before us.  Rest is needed but seems to be elusive to so many of us.  Yet, for the Christian, rest is vital, life-sustaining.  It is from this place where our power and anointing flow for the things that God calls us to.

Lord, give me a heart that hungers to draw apart, to dwell apart with You throughout my days.

Understand Them–excerpt from God Calling

Take joy wherever you go.  You have been much blessed.  You are being much blessed.

Such stores of blessing are awaiting you in the months and years that lie ahead.  Pass every blessing on.

Love can and does go round the world, passed on the God-currents from one to the other.

Shed a little sunshine in the heart of one, that one is cheered to pass it on, and so My vitalizing joy-giving message goes.

Be transmitters these days.  Love and Laugh.  Cheer all.  Love all.

Always seek to understand others and you cannot fail to love them.

See Me in the dull, the uninteresting, the sinful, the critical, the miserable.

See Me in the laughter of children and the sweetness of old age, in the courage of youth and the patience of man and womanhood.

Whoever Lives in Love…

“And so we know and rely on the love that God has for us.  God is love.  Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in him.” 1 John 4:16

God chose this verse for me to meditate on today.  I thought it was odd at first.  I know this stuff.  Why this verse?  Throughout the day, He has brought to my memory so many people whom I have sat with over the past 6 months who have been broken and hurt by Christians.  It seems to be an epidemic .

It is true that for the most part, the body of Christ does not know how to love.  True, people of the world do not know how to love either but we should know better.  I am sorrowful and broken every time I hear someone’s story of being hurt by “Christian” people.  It makes me search my heart all the more for times that I have been insensitive, self-righteous or prideful.  We should be above reproach in this area and most of us, on any given day, are not.  It is sad that there are so many people who struggle with forgiving Christians.

And yet on the other hand I realize something even more startling about us.  We do not know how to love because  most of us have never been loved well.  God is the one person who will and does love us well.  We continually choose to turn away from Him though.  Why?  Because not only do we not know how to give live, we do not know how to receive it either.

This verse is supposed to be the over-riding character of our lives.  This is how we live as a beacon of love and hope to the world, how we draw people to Christ.  But it has to start with us.  It has to start with us saying to God, “Teach me how to receive Your love.  Teach me how to live in Your love.  Teach me how to give off Your love to others.”

Imagine what the body of Christ would be to each other and the world!

Supersize Me!

A couple of years ago, whenever you ordered at a fast food restaurant, they would always ask if you wanted to “super size” the meal.  We, being a nation of never wanting to settle for less when we could have more, usually agreed.  It was such a good value after all!  Then “super size” began to get a bad rap, well deserved of course.  Fast food chains did away with “super size” but what they instituted instead  was a little more deceptive.  Have you noticed in the last year or so, you can not order a small drink?  They do not carry it except in a kids’ meal, the Big Kids Meal to be exact.  When you order a medium, it is the large size from years ago.  The large is now what used to be the “super size”.   So when they ask if want to go “large”, you take it because after all it is not “super size”!  Let me just go on record now that this is not a blog about health.

This morning God woke me up early from a dream.  I do not remember the dream but I do remember what He was saying to me as I began to wake up.

“Ask Me to super size it.”  Whoa!  Was that the McDonald’s that I had for dinner last night?

“Ask Me to super size it.”

I am thinking what EXACTLY am I asking You to super size?

“Everything.”

“What exactly do you mean by everything?  And what does super size mean to you?”

“Our relationship, your marriage, your children, ministry, your role in My Kingdom, the transformation in people’s lives, My Glory in you….everything.  “Abundantly above all that you can think or imagine.”

Now my heart is racing and my breathing begins to get a little short as the implications are setting in.  My eyes are as big as golf balls.  When God says “super size”, He means it.  Not just changing sizes and being deceptive, but really “super size”.  Am I ready for that?  Can I handle that?  Whenever I order a “super size” meal, I can never finish the drink or the food.  How can I even begin to swallow this?  How will my orderly life change as a result?

And yet He keeps saying, “Ask Me to super size it.”

I am either on this ride for good or I get off here.  That is the choice.  I am at a crossroad.  Do I believe that God has bigger plans than I could ever comprehend?  Am I willing to take the ride of my life to find out?

“Okay, God.  I am in.  I ask You to Super Size everything!”

I wonder, when I get used to supersize and can digest all of it, if I can order a “super SUPER size”?!  Is that on God’s menu?

Rescue Me

“He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me.” Psalms 18:19

What defines a rescue?  Most of us think that someone has to be in life or death circumstances for a rescue to happen.  We can be rescued from other situations.  Unhealthy relationships, despair, apathy, criticism, etc.  Rescue is anything that we get pulled out of, that makes us better for not being in it.  Notice that I said a person must be pulled out of it.  You can not save yourself because then it is not a rescue.  Rescuing always involves someone else.  Jesus wants to rescue us and He did initially 2,000 years ago on the cross.  But that was just the beginning.  He wants to continue to rescue us everyday, every hour and every minute.  From what?  A lot of people would say from ourselves.  I disagree.  We are only our own worst enemy, because of our woundedness.  I believe Jesus wants to rescue us from the wounds, our pits, and habits we have lived in all of our lives.  He wants to set us on a rock.  You know what else?  Make no mistake that Jesus is the only one who is capable,  and has all the qualifications to perform a rescue.  Others look like rescuers but the price you have to pay to be rescued by them is too high!  Let Jesus be your rescuer today and every day for the rest of your life.

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