I have never liked the word “accountability”, especially as in a group. It seems that with a group like that, there is an underlying assumption that you are going to screw up, or the possibility is very high that you will screw up. We all know that we will screw up. It’s one of those “duh” things. Reality is that while most of us do need people in our lives that speak wisdom to us, it seems that in these groups they are speaking wisdom to the “wrong” subject matter.
Rarely is any sin or addiction ever the problem. It is only a symptom of a heart condition. It is never about drinking more than you should, eating a whole chocolate cake, spending money you do not have or playing Farmville for 2 solid hours. It is about something more. There is an underlying issue that propels and drives us to do these things. As Brent Curtis in the book, “Desire” calls it, these are our “less wild lovers”. Things that we chose to escape to, run to, and use as coping mechanisms instead of God. We can try to “manage” those things but the root will still be there. Reality is the root will just manifest itself in some other addiction that we need to be “accountable” for.
I hear enough from the world, and well meaning-people in my life, of where I fall short. Even my own self recrimination of my heart can be pretty brutal. Things like, “You should be further along than this by now.” or “You are never going to get this, are you?” I do not need to hear it from one more group of people. It is obvious that all of that has not helped me. I need (we all need) a group of people who can speak to our heart. Someone who can look at us and say, “That is not the truest thing about you. Here is what I see in your heart…. Hear is what God is doing in you…” This requires the people in the group to be led by the Spirit in our interactions (novel idea). Sometimes the group may not even know what to say, and instead, agree to pray and seek God for that person.
Jesus was never involved in an accountability group. Nowhere in Scripture can I find, where after He set someone free or forgave them of their sins, did he inform them that they needed to find a group of people to hold them accountable. Even when dealing with people, he never addressed the symptom, always the root (ex: the woman at the well). How is it that we have been deceived into thinking that we have come up with a “better” system. Accountability takes you back to the “law” and skips the “heart”.
I have the extreme honor and privilege to be involved in such a group. I have not always had this type of group in my life but I have sought it with my heart for a great number of years. Our weekly conversations center around, “What is going on in your heart?”, “What did that do for your heart?” and “What do you think God is saying to your heart?” It has helped all of us immensely, to have our hearts heard and fought for by each other.
How do you find or form a group like this? You pray. You may be able to change gears in a group that already exists. Then again, you may not. Not many people are open to this idea. Ask God to bring people into your life that could be part of this. But you need to be willing to wait for this. It takes time and the right people to speak into your heart. You need to be wise.
Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”
I do not belong to an “accountability” group, I belong to a “Your heart is welcome here” group! It will change your life and your walk with God. Just do it!
Did you ever catch this in the creation story? All of creation is formed by the spoken word, until God creates the ones that will bear His image. With that, He uses a whole different approach. He “forms” us. When it comes to creating the creation that will bear His image, speaking doesn’t suffice. He wanted to be intimate, “hands on”, close. Wow! He wanted to know every intimate detail of us, nothing was left to chance.
