Tammy McClelland

Travis passed away at 10:30 p.m. on Monday. I think to date, this will be the hardest post that I will write. By Monday morning, Travis was in a coma. He most likely had slipped into one on Sunday at some point. Having never experienced any of this before, I did not realize that had happened because he was still opening his eyes some. At about 1:30 p.m. on Monday afternoon, his breathing began to change a little. I was not sure what was going on and I was afraid that I was making something out of nothing so I was very cautious in making decisions. The nurse was due from Hospice within the hour so I waited for her to assess Travis. After she assessed him, she felt that we probably did not have much longer, that Travis would most likely pass later that day or that night. It was felt that the tumor had probably reached the brain stem and that was accounting for the breathing and heart rate changes. At that point, I felt safe to sit the kids down and let them know. Of course, our youngest was the first to respond, realizing that Travis was not going to make it to her birthday. At this point, I was so grateful that the children and I had taken time to say our goodbyes weeks ago. There was no urgency or rush, just a realization that the end was near as painful as it may be. A nurse friend of mine offered to come over and manage Travis and stay through the night if need be, so I could just be with Travis. Other people stepped in and stayed with the children and hung out with them so I could be with Travis. I spent the last few hours with Travis. It seemed like it happened so fast compared to the months that it took us to get here. The children seem to be doing well. Believe it or not, as the details were being seen to and arrangements being made, there was quite a bit of laughter coming from the other end of the house where the children were. Only God. I am still pretty numb. I do not think that it has settled in yet. I am not sure when it will. I do not think I will know what to do with myself in the morning. Everyday when I awoke, I got Travis’ medicine and started the day with taking care of him. I guess I will see tomorrow.I will post details on Travis’ memorial service once they have been arranged. Thank you again for your love and prayers.